$1200 Of Pills For $3: God Has Provided!

As many of you know, I have had one heck of a time with nausea and anxiety. Yes, I am now 2 weeks into my 2nd trimester and yet am still really battling it. Lucky me! Anyway, a couple weeks ago it got so bad that I had to get some help. I really didn't know if this would be possible especially since I had an allergic reaction to the most commonly prescribed medication used to treat pregnant women with nausea. (When you are pregnant there are so few things that you can take. When I went in to see the doctor, I was afraid that I was out of options.) However, in spite of the likely hood that my insurance would not cover an alternative medication, my doctor prescribed it. He put me on Zofran (a medication commonly prescribed for cancer patients who are dealing with severe nausea as a result of radiation and chemotherapy). My doctor originally prescribed 30 pills, but my insurance would only fill 15 at a time. Well, that was my initial understanding. However, yesterday I realized that they would only approve 15 pills for every 30 days. Now, while I was grateful that they were willing to pay for any of this medication, I knew that 15 pills would only last me 1 week. I dreaded the thought of having to endure 3 weeks of no medication. During this whole fiasco I had to go without the medication for a day and half, and I really noticed a difference in my health and well-being. I desperately needed my prescription changed and SOON! So, I talked with the pharmacy and they advised me to contact my insurance company. With some fear and apprehension I called Tricare. (I have had so many problems with military health care in the past. I typically let Scott deal with the insurance companies, but yesterday he was not around and I needed some help right then and there.) To my surprise ,they were really sweet and helpful. I had thought that I would have to file a claim and then have my doctor fill it out with my reasons for needing more medication, but they told me that I could get the issue resolved that day if my doctor would just call them and answer their questions. I was so relieved to hear that I could get some results that quickly! My doctor is out of town this week so I didn't know if the nurse would be able to get anything done for me or not. She so graciously agreed to do whatever it took to get me my meds. While I waited for her phone call to let me know if the insurance approved it or not, I prayed my heart out and asked the Lord to once again intervene and show Himself sovereign in this situation. Well, once again the Lord came through! The awesome thing is that the insurance approved 60 pills per month for as long as I need it. So, if I need it for the remainder of the pregnancy, then I will have it. I thought that my co-payment would increase, but it stayed the same. I was able to get $1200 worth of medication for $3! Now if that isn't God's provision, then I do not know what is! My insurance has not always been cooperative, but I am so grateful for them approving me and allowing me to get the medication I need. More than that, I am eternally grateful to the Lord for his sovereign power and continual provision in my life. I am blessed! :)

You Cannot Out Give God!

Just in the last several weeks I have experienced awesome favor with people. It is almost as though God is going before me and preparing a pathway of blessings. I like to think that it is because people cannot resist showing kindness to a pregnant woman, but I know that it really is the Lord's favor working on my behalf! It is not a result of anything I have done but a product of my Father's immense love and compassion for me! Here is an example of just one of the ways that the Lord has poured out His love for me...As many of you know, a few weeks ago I did a giveaway at my home. I am so grateful to my neighbors who came over and took a lot of the stuff. It really made it a lot easier on me-I only had half as much stuff to haul off myself. In order to thank me for all the free stuff, they went and bought and planted begonias by my front door. It would have been more than enough for them to have just bought me some plants, but my neighbor, Tom, also planted them for me. That meant so much to me! I have been so sick and have such little tolerance for the heat that I have not really been able to do much gardening. It has really been bugging me that in spite of my diligence in watering and fertilizing my pansies, they did not make it. I knew they wouldn't but had hoped that they would last longer. I was so sad to pull them up especially since I knew that I would not be able to afford replacement flowers. We haven't had a consistent income for 2 months now and so we can only buy necessities. Anyway, every time I drove by the house or walked out to the mailbox and saw the empty flower bed, it really made me feel sad. (Sometimes when you are depressed, small things like flowers really can help cheer you up! )It wasn't like it was a life or death situation having flowers there, but it was a desire of my heart to have some pink begonias by my front door. My neighbors didn't even know that it was that big of a deal to me. Once again, God gave me a desire of my heart! If God can provide for the small things in life, then how much more will He come through on the big things in life?!? This simple act of kindness was a reminder to me of God's provision. Although I am having such a tough time dealing with our financial situation, it is situations like this that remind me of God's faithfulness. The neatest thing about all of this is that my mother told me the night before the giveaway, "Heather, I am proud of you for giving away your stuff. God will bless you because you cannot out give God!". She was right, YOU CANNOT OUT GIVE GOD! He definitely has the bigger shovel! :)

I AM Proud To Be An American!

Recently I have had some really neat things happen to me! These things are not huge but meant a lot to me. Whenever I start to doubt God's love and ability to provide for me, He comes through in a small ways to show me that He hasn't forgotten about me. What an awesome God!

Our country is made up of many patriotic people. It feels so good to have people show their support especially since the government has failed to take care of soldiers. The continual disappointment we have felt because of the problems with Scott's orders, have made life really tough. It feels gratifying to know that we are appreciated and that even though the government does not seem to care about soldiers, the American people do. Here is what happened...On our first trip to the doctor, Scott had on his uniform because he was having to head out to work immediately after our appointment. As we waited to see the doctor, an older lady came up to us and thanked Scott for his service and gave him a $2o. We tried to give it back, but then she told us that the Lord had told her to give it to us. How could you refuse the money after she said that?!? She wanted us to use it to buy lunch. Wow, we looked at each other in disbelief! We both got teary-eyed; it was a very moving experience! Then on the same day when we went to check out and schedule our next appt., my doctor's wife (who is also the secretary) thanked us for serving our country. I was concerned about our insurance because of the ongoing problems with Scott's orders, but she told me not to worry about it. She said that they were so grateful to us for our service that she wasn't worried about payment. Several months later and we are still having problems with our insurance. I ask about it at every appointment, and she tells me to just not worry about it. She has repeatedly said, "You guys have already done so much for our country and accommodating you in return is the least that we can do". We have not been out a dime even though I know that we have a deductible. This has been such a blessing because we really do not have money for the deductible right now. In spite of a discouraging situation, God is going before us and preparing the way for us! He truly is Jehovah-Jirah, OUR PROVIDER!!!

There is so much that we cannot control right now; it is great to have people be so accommodating and understanding about our situation. To Dr. McAlpine and his sweet wife, it is not about the money. They both really love the Lord and consider their practice as a ministry to others. That is exactly what they have done for me-ministered to me and greatly encouraged my heart. They have renewed my faith in the kindness and generosity of people! I cannot even tell you how much anxiety has been lifted off of my shoulders just by knowing that they are extending us so much grace. In a world full of materialistic people and tons of doctors who are in the field just simply for the big bucks, their actions are unheard of! I feel so grateful to have a doctor who really cares and who puts his patients first!

It was not just on this day that we experienced amazing kindness and appreciation for our service to our country. God has also given Scott great favor with policemen. His sticker was expired and he was speeding. An officer pulled him over. Scott had his uniform on; he was headed back from the unit. He really should have gotten two tickets, but the cop just asked him how long he had served, thanked him, and then sent him on his way. That is unbelievable! Cops do not do that very often! Once again, in this siutation we would not have been able to pay the ticket. Again, the Lord provided!

God is really looking out for us, and I greatly appreciate all the love, support, and encouragement we have received over the last few months since Scott joined the Reserves. Thank you Lord for your continual provision! We know that every good and perfect gift comes from you! Thanks to all of you who pray for and make it a point to minister to soldiers. Your kindness means the world to us as well as all the other soldiers who are proudly serving our country.

The Latest Baby News

Here is the latest:

I think I felt the baby move today! The doctor said that I should start feeling something soon. He said that thin girls typically start feeling the baby pretty early on. That is exciting! I cannot wait until other people can feel it too! However, I do not want hands on my tummy all the time-especially people I do not know! I have already been warned about those people. I have some pretty crazy hormones-they better watch it! Ha! I might just punch them! Ha! Ha!

I find out the sex of the baby on July 14th. Scott is going to be at his CA course during that time. I had thought about waiting until he gets back, but I didn't want to have to wait an extra 2 weeks. Plus, he said he was fine about not going this time. He was there for the first sonogram last month. My sister is going to go with me instead. It should be neat to share the experience with another person from the family!

The playroom is almost finished! YES!!!!! I am allowing the caulk and paint to dry this weekend, and then Monday I am going to start arranging and decorating the room. I have looked forward to decorating for baby for years and years! My dad did such a great job, and I am convinced that no other baby gift will top this one! Thanks, Dad!

I found the perfect glider rocker. I love it, and I know it is going to look great in our bedroom. It is cherry wood and will have a khaki cushion. We found it at Babies R Us, and we are having to special order it. I think it is going to work well for us. It will also match the bassinet that my sister is loaning us. We plan on keeping the baby in the room with us for the first 6 months or so. Anyway, the glider has all kinds of special features, and it will really come in handy during feedings. Who knew that you could get a special breastfeeding ottoman to go with your glider? I love picking out stuff for Baby Ludwig!

Everyone keeps asking me where I am registered. Well, I am not registered anywhere yet. I am waiting until we find out the sex of the baby in July-that way I can register more specifically for the things that I need. Since Scott is going to be gone for pretty much the last 3-4 months of my pregnancy, we are going to register a little early so that we can do it together. :)

Okay, so I have decided not to read a lot of books about breastfeeding because they are militant and very discouraging (well at least the ones I have come in contact with are that way). Instead, I am talking to friends/family and getting help and advice from them. I am also going to take a class at the hospital. I have heard that the nurses at the hospital are really helpful. I am not going to hesitate to ask them for support.

An Emergency Trip to the Doctor's Office

My second trimester has officially begun. It kind of started off with a scare. I had been experiencing tremendous pain on the right side of my body (my back and abdomen) for several days. I didn't know if I had hurt by back, if maybe the baby was putting pressure on me and that was causing the pain, or if it was a possible bladder infection. The pain got so bad that I could not move from the couch! At that point I decided to stop toughing it out and call the doctor. They wanted me to come in the next morning and have some tests run to make sure everything was okay. So, we went ahead and moved my monthly appointment up a week and I went in yesterday. While I was there, I decided to talk to my doctor about everything that was going on with me. I had heard that there was a possiblity that I could take anti-anxiety medication durning my second trimester. This of course would be a last resort, but I just knew that I could not continue to experience chronic pain day in and day out without getting some help. When I am severly sleep deprived and have to deal with chronic pain for long periods of time, it causes me to have a lot of anxiety and depression. Since things hadn't gotten better, I decided to lay everything out on the table. My doctor is super conservative and was adimate about me not taking anti-anxiety medication. I asked him about other things such as chiropractic visits to help with pain, and he was against all of that as well. I didn't feel too much hope, but then all of the sudden he became sympathetic and offered me some hope. I had been told that there was no other nausea medication that I could take that our insurance would cover. My doctor's nurse screens his calls and I seldom get to talk to him over the phone. I was going by what the nurse had told me. However, that was not true. Now, I don't know that my doctor loves giving this medication out to just anyone. He probably has a list of drugs that he gives out, and I am sure that this one was further down the list. Things probably have to get pretty bad before he gives it out, but he prescribed it for me and told me that he would refill it as many times as I needed. I guess all that I shared finally helped him realize that I really did need something to help me feel better. I think 10 weeks of discomfort and pain was enough suffering to help finally get his attention. He was super sweet and accomidating. I was afraid that once again he would tell me to tough it out-it would be over soon, but that is not what he said. I could tell that he genuinely felt bad for me and wanted to help me out. What a relief! Apparently, I did not have a bladder infection but Dr. McAlpine believes that my intense pain is being caused by the residual Endometriosis that I have all over my organs. As my body rearranges to accomidate the baby, it is aggravating the Endometriosis. The good news is that since I no longer have a cycle, the Endometriosis cannot get worse. However, I can still experience pain because of all the changes my body is having to endure. I had been suspicious about the Endometriosis, but really wasn't sure what was going on. Enduring the pain of Endometriosis has been one of the toughest things I have had to deal with in life. I had really hoped that my pregnancy was the end to this, but it just seems like one more thing I have to deal with. My doctor has said that as the uterus shifts over the next few weeks, the pain should get better. I hope so. Please keep me in your prayers regarding the following:

Pray that God will encourage my heart. I don't want to lose hope, and I do not want Satan to steal my peace and joy. The Lord has given me the desire of my heart, and I do not want discouragement to destroy my passion for being a mother. I also do not want to be so fearful that I do not want to have more children in the future.

Pray that my new medication helps with the nausea and anxiety. It is not an anti-anxiety medication, but I have found that nausea medications typically help with anxiety. Pray that I will not have an allergic reaction like last time. I desperately need to be able to get some sleep, and I also need some relief from the pain.

Pray for God's continual provision during this time while Scott is not working. Pray for his orders to come through soon. Pray that God will help me feel well enough to contribute financially. It is really tough for me to work when I am feeling really bad.

Pray that the pain in my abdomen will settle down and that I will be able to get back to normal life again.

Pray that I respond well to my new iron supplement. Pray that my iron level goes up quickly so that I can start feeling better and not have to take it any longer. I am still really battling fatigue.

Pray that the baby will continue to grow strong and remain healthy in spite of all of the stress and anxiety of life right now.

Pray that the Lord will heal my body and that the Endometriosis will really have a chance to heal during this pregnancy.

Thanks for the concern and sympathy. I am trusting the Lord for complete healing and restoration as well as a healthy, happy baby come December. Thanks for agreeing with us for God's best!

Bye, Bye Anxiety!

As many of you know, this Saturday I am having a giveaway at my home from 10-2. I am cleaning and organizing in preparation for Baby Ludwig. It has been stressful having to sort through everything and almost painful at times parting with certain things. However, I know it is worth it. I cannot even tell you how much anxiety has gone away as I have gotten organized. So much has happened just in one week's time! I really like donating things to a worthy cause, but even more than that I like giving it to people I know and love. That is exciting and gives me warm fuzzies inside! There is something really freeing about getting rid of things you do not use. It is like I have been carrying anxiety about having so much stuff for years and didn't even realize it until I started going through the stuff and getting rid of it. I am sleeping better at night and have a lot more peace. God is teaching me that things do not bring happiness! I think in some ways I have used things to make me happy. You have heard of emotional eaters-I think that I was kind of an emotional buyer. I mean not so bad that we got into debt or anything, but I still had more stuff then I needed. Honestly, I have given more things away in the last 2 years than I have in my entire life! It brings me so much joy to part with things. Whoever thought that I would feel that way-especially when they are things that I like?!? I have learned a lot from this and feel like this lesson will make me a better mother. I don't want to pass on bad habits by the example I set. I want my child to walk in freedom! I finally understand the root from which some of my anxiety has been coming. Now that I know, I am committed to only buying things that I really need! Thank you Lord for changing my heart and mind! And thanks ahead of time to all of you who come over and take stuff home. This really is the best gift you could give me or Baby Ludwig! I hope to see you soon!

Countdown To Second Trimester-Please Pray!

I have 2 days left in this trimester! I am getting bigger and feeling a lot more discomfort in my abdomen area. It feels like there is an elephant sitting on my head and another one pressing against my feet leaving me feeling squashed and squeezed. I feel like my abdomen just isn't big enough to accommodate this growing baby. I have trouble sitting without having something to lean up against, but my best position is when I am able to lay back and prop my feet up. I have got to figure out how to get comfortable at church. I may end up standing at the back during services because it is just so uncomfortable to sit. Does anyone have any ideas of what I might do? Maybe I can just take a stool or something to prop my feet up on. Standing is fine for a while, but then my back gets to hurting pretty bad, and I have to sit down. It is kind of a dilemma! My greatest regret is not being more physically strong and prepared for this. My back is weak and so are my abs, and that is only complicating things. Plus, I have a really petite frame and so my body has really had to do some shifting to accommodate this growing baby. It is only going to get worse, but I am trusting God for the strength to push through the pain and discomfort. I know in the end it will all be worth it, but it is just really tough right now. I really envy you girls who have super easy pregnancies! That hasn't been my experience at all. I am kind of bummed. :(

The nausea is still going strong-VERY STRONG! I had really thought that it would be over by now. However, my mom told me today that my sister's nausea lasted until week 17. Yikes! Every pregnancy is different; hopefully, mine will go away soon. I have been having severe anxiety attacks because of all of the chronic pain and discomfort. I can honestly say that this is the most difficult thing I have ever been through! Please continue praying for improved health and a healthy baby. All of the health problems are really wearing both Scott and I down both mentally, physically, and emotionally. It has also been really tough on our relationship. Whoever knew that pregnancy could be so tough?!?! I am currently in the process of finding a support group for people who suffer with chronic pain. I think that it would be really helpful to have some place to talk and vent-a place to be heard and understood. I am also exploring some of my options for dealing with the anxiety attacks. Listening to worship music and praying has helped a lot, but I am still having issues. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Onto more positive things-I am getting the house organized and the nursery and playroom set up. It is very slow going, but at least it is happening. I hope everyone in the area will come out on Saturday and take some stuff home with them. Once I can get rid of this stuff, I should be able to really get things set up around here. It feels good to finally get things organized. I just wish I felt better so that I could get things done quicker. I am not an organized person, but I am making myself get more organized. I am taking one day at a time and trying to keep a positive attitude. This baby is a huge blessing, and I am grateful to the Lord for this precious gift. Thanks for the encouragement and prayers. Keep them coming! :)

Things Are Looking Up Even Though The Ceiling Is Coming Down!

Yesterday we discovered that our air conditioner was leaking and causing the ceiling to cave in in our guest bedroom. Fortunately, I think I caught it pretty early before the leak was able to destroy the carpet and my Home Interiors merchandise. That was pretty amazing because I keep that door shut off and rarely go in there. Anyway, it was still a huge pain. Scott had to shut off the AC and try and unstop the pipe. As you know, yesterday was extremely hot. That was not fun, but he a was able to get it fixed and we did get to turn the AC back on a few hours later. Thank goodness-Baby Ludwig was starting to sweat! Ha! But the surprising thing about all of this is that I didn't get stressed! I guess I am growing up and maturing some. I mean the timing was really bad because of us having out of town company coming to stay the next day, but I didn't get panicked and stressed about it. I was proud of myself for being so calm. I think that all the trials of the last few years have really taught me how to trust the Lord. Now that isn't to say that I always trust the Lord. I don't. God has come through for us time and time again yet I still have a difficult time trusting. I am so glad that He is faithful even though I am not! Anyway, I was still encouraged by my small step of faith and improvement in this area. I am not even close to being where I would like to be. However, I am doing better. That is what matters most, right? The insurance adjuster came out today, and our insurance is going to take care of the repairs. God is working everything out, and I am able to think about it and laugh. God must be preparing me for motherhood! :)

But just as the ceiling is coming down, things really are looking up for me! To you, these things may not seem too big, but they are huge to me! First of all, I was able to go to the grocery store last night for the first time and not get sick because of the food and the smells! People really do take that for granted, but it was really difficult for me to buy groceries up until now. I would just get so sick, and it was really frustrating. Now I am better able to do it, and I am really happy about it. Then today I was able to cook food and basically be in the kitchen all day without getting sick. That is another reason I am rejoicing. I haven't been able to cook a meal in weeks. Not that I love to cook or anything, but I did kind of miss preparing meals at home. Trust me, there are only so many take out meals you can eat before you go crazy! I am still battling nausea but I do get some relief during the day on some days. I am grateful for that! My playroom is coming together and is going to be super cute! That is exciting! I am grateful for all of these things, but most of all I am grateful for the lesson that I am learing from my pregnancy experiences. The Lord is teaching me to be thankful for even the little things in life. A day without nausea is a reason to give thanks. We as Americans take things for granted-our health, the nice things we have, our families, our freedom. Well, when you feel bad all the time, you realize what a huge blessing it is to go through the day feeling good! We are all so blessed yet we often fail to see what God has given us and thank Him for those blessings. God has blessed us far and above what we deserve. Let's always keep a heart of gratitude for our MANY blessings-even the small ones! :)